Topic Title: depression and anxiety

vrgo17 · Joined: 24 Jan 2007 Posts: 1

I would like to know if there is anyone out there that is suffering depression and anxiety from "post traumatic stress disorder",I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder 15 years ago.I get no empathy or understanding from my husband,he just feels that I should get on with my life and be over the events that triggered this.First of all my mother physically attacked me 15 years ago,she pushed me and tried to gouge out my eyes,luckily my brother was there and pushed me backwards so she couldn't poke out my eyes.I was in counseling for 2 years and had no contact with her for 5 years,she was very physically and mentally abusive to me as a child,so I have tried to have only a limited contact with her,she is a very nasty person.On one hand if there are other people outside of the family around she acts like the sweetest person,but around her own family she acts very controlling.I have 5 sisters and 1 brother.Because of this event I had to go on antidepressants and I have tried to go off of them but I cannot and will have to be on them the rest of my life.My 5 sisters are also all on antidpressants,then I learned that depression runs on both sides of the family and my parents did not tell any of us about this.I am not the only one in my family that puts distance from my parents.This incident that happened 15 years ago was around Christmas,so now every Christmas I feel anxiety.I did not see her this last Christmas,but she was treating my daughter bad and I guess that triggered this disorder.My mother shows favorites not only around her children but even her granchildren.I just wish I had emotional support from my husband,as I am in therapy now and so far I have had 2 visits.Sorry this is so long but if there is anyone out there that needs to vent please email me at "Barbara Moos" <bmdm@sbcglobal.net>

truleelee · Joined: 24 Aug 2006 Posts: 14

I want you to know that I have empathy for you. Although I've never been diagnosed by a doctor, I'm quite sure I have depression and anxiety due to post traumatic stress disorder. I have suffered a lot of physical, mental and emotional abuse throughout my life and I personally don't think anyone I know cares or understands. My cousin put it best once, when he asked me how do I stay optimistic with all the crap I've been through? I told him, because I have to, because no one understands me or cares to, so I have to. I know there's others in the world who care about how you feel, but I want you to know that I, personally, care and understand and empathize with you.
((HUGS)) for you.

darling · Joined: 14 Sep 2006 Posts: 7

I truly understand where you are coming from . My life was not as hard as yours but we all don't want to hear that there are others who have had a harder life. Don't be hard on yourself. Take each day one at a time and at the end of the day think what you did and say thank you to yourself for being better than her. And then go to bed knowing tomorrow you'll even be better than the day before. That is how i have to do it. You see I too am on antidepressants. We all have our stories some better then others some worse. But we all think our problems are the worst and we can't be helped. But we can we can help ourselves. We can stop being the victim to ourselves. I have learned that. Staying away from her is the best way to help yourself and your family. You don't need to explain yourself and for someone to tell you "to get over it" has his/her own issues that they are dealing with privately and can't handle that you want to share yours. Each time you make contact with her you make yourself the victim. Stop and think "do i want to be a victim for her again" NO NO NO that is your answer. You only have to answer to yourself you need to take care of you and then you will heal (you won't forget) but the antidepressants will then start to work. Use a journal and write down your feelings when you start getting depressed over it or start remembering and feeling guilty for not visiting her or letting her visit your family. You don't need to save the journal you can burn the page at the end of the day or when you finish writing it down. The hard part is writing it down so that you acknowledge you have the right to your feelings and no one can take that away from you. I wish you all the health and well being you can possible have. I hope you have a very good friend that can listen to you and hear you vent as i know that is what helps me get through some of my days. That old say" Once a victim always a victim " is not true we can turn it into a bad memory and make ourselves better and more watchful to keep from falling back into the the abuser path that will make us a victim once more.
My prayers are with you

roxanne · Joined: 02 Jun 2007 Posts: 1

My child hood was much like yours. I swear my mother is just like yours right down to the grandchildren. So I know how you feel trust me I bet we could go rounds about what bad things our mothers did to us yet still claim to others how much they loved us. If your husband did not grow up in an abusive home he will never fully understand but I hope you can at least tell me you know he loves you. My mom made sure my self esteem was none exist so I have entered may relationships that just reenforced that I mean nothing to anyone. I have my moments when I feel like why do I keep trying to get people who treat me like dirt to except me. I am in a relationship I should have moved away from a long time ago but still
i stay. My doctor thinks medication is not good for depressions and that I need to talk my problems out. But in the middle of the night he isn't there to hear me cry or to help me feel like the room is not closing in on me. The man I am with only tells me not again, or I don't want to hear this you get the point. I wish I could tell you it gets better all the advise I can give you is this. If your stronger than me let all the people that hurt you or your children go completely. Some paople say you have to forgive to let go I say no you have to prtect yourself and your children because no one else will. You can't make someone love you or like you. I think it just gives them a thrill to see that they can hurt you and you'll just keep coming back. If you need to vent or have a bad day and just need to tell someone who understands email me momyasiena@yahoo.com my best wishes go to you. if you find an answer let me know I am so tired of feeling like nothing to everyone am around.


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